Cooters A1 Toewing: Setting the Guinness Record for kissing a woman's toes in nylon hose a benefit for Shriners Hospital

There’s an old logarithm that goes that of two words, there can be different spelling by a slight amount, the meaning quite different, yet sound alike.

To which while I never invented the similarity, I don’t mind saying over the last 20 years I have been on a quest to refine and define the commonality.

The entire mission started one afternoon in Boise. I was living out on Horshoe Bend Road. Of course it was snowing. While I had been out until my eye lids could have used phone poles to hold em open, I wanted more business. When I watched a TV ad for a plumbing company in Boise with a tricked out van, a plumber in a Tuxedo T shirt, and the end being this plumber in a fancy house bathroom, kissing this gals hand as she sat on the black marbled vanity with the tag, we treat our customers like royalty.

Fast forward to mid 1989. I was writing up log reports for our insurance company runs at our facility in BlackFoot Idaho. And mis-spelled on ye old typewriter, Yes one of those, and mis-spelled TOW as TOE. This was the start. One of my crew then gave me an idea, capitalize on the idea. At the end of our TV ads for the the Hazzard County Garage/Dixie Diesel>Shop of Idaho, that I would in Disney style Cinderella genere>kiss the model or kountry lady’s toes > So that started it. Over the years since I have worked to refine and better the concept, where it looked better , classier and so on. Yet for the life of me , never have found too many models or women hired to be such, that will let me try different approaches to that concept.

However that is a slightly different article.

One of my crew years ago suggested that to cure many ills, as well as generate some money for a worthwhile group say a childrens hospital, beit Primary Childrens , Miracle Network, or in this case the Shriner’s Hospital, reason they are chosen is my Dad was a 32 degree Shriner.

But here’s the idea and one I will pitch as I do all new talent, to our new applicant coming to see us today, is for ye ole me as main host of HazzardAyre Radio, to bend down on a knee , or however we decide to do it, but to set the record for just how long a guy can in fact kiss a woman’s toes in nylon hose. Invite some local media, have the setting at a major Mall or event, and get both individuals and merchants to pledge money for each hour I’m able to maintain nose and lips to a gals toes in nylons. Stressing the play on the two words TOE and TOW, melded together as toew. Invite Guinness to the spectacle, record the gig, and again set the record. Why? The gig, establishes the none establishment nature of HazzardAyre, makes some money for a charity, and generates external publicity, for HazzardAyre as well as both Cooter’s A1 Toewing as well as the Knytes.

Lets just see if our new model from Pocatello, is up to the challenge.

I will repeat because last year it was suggested. This is not , repeat NOT a attempt to fulfill and satisfy some fetish or something, it’s a comedic bit for the station/network and the club, as well as generate some extra cash for the Shriner’s Crippled Children’s Hospital in Salt Lake City.

Okay then after taking some ipecac and upchucking some sort of food I bought from Smiths, here, my body while weak, my insides are getting better. So looks like I’ll be in good shape to be on air this afternoon.

Now here’s something I need to ask, many of you might know or not, why is it that trusted retail food establishments like Smiths, or even Wal-Mart, prepackage food like Potato salad, and forgets to put expiration labels on those containers who is at fault? The retailer, the person who packaged it? Or why is this taking place. Is there not people who should be inspecting these products and pulling them from the shelves after their shelf life? If so why aren’t they being more meticulous about this? If not why? Is it a case of just wages?

In these days of terrorism, I wouldn’t think that say Smiths nor Wal-Mart would hire a terrorist, at face value, but who knows , could a Issami bin Laudin type get hired and inject poison into our food? Might require a closer look at supervisors in the Deli departments to be more supervising as well as being supervised themselves.

Any way feeling a bit better, so will see ya’ll at 13:00 on HazzardAyre at www.livestream.com/hazzardayre .

Just hope our new talents is ready and able to have her toes in hose .

TTYL