Hazzard Lyfe and Farm Lyfe and ailments cured naturally

Some people have told me b4 and regurly now days, that I should have just stayed on the Farm. I tried to, but forces and some greedy people decided that they knew better, mainly my old now deceased cousin Bud, and the Trustee before my cousin took over the reins of the Montgomery Foundation. That's a subject for a different time. 
Growing up on the Farm was sweet, no real noises, nothing to disturb you except visitors, once in awhile and maybe a pestering owl at night. I'd give my left nut for that life again. But when it came to illness's and ailments my mom knew things that were never published in any medical journal, but still worked effectively. Things like for really bad sunburns. The remedy really made a stink, but rubbing, fresh cow manure that was thinned out, took care of the sunburn, and you didn't peel. Best of all the cure was quick, rub it on, wait 4 hours, take a shower, no more sunburn. Have a headache? Mom swore by Goody's Headache powders, but if that didn't help, Mom would have us shower or bathe, and then take Mentholatum, and thinly rub it over our foreheads. The cooling effect of the Mentholatum, took away the pain. When I was still very young and teething there was two remedies. Pack a little wad of Days Work, or Spark Plug chewing tobacco by the effected area of where I was teething, or a q-tip, soaked in Jack Daniels Whiskey, lightly applied on the teeth soothed the pain, plus helped us go to sleep. Fussy baby, put us on the top of a running clothes dryer. If that wasn't enough a small shot of Jack Daniels, would calm us down and off to dreamland. Have acne? A product that was ever present on our farm was a soil, called Bentonyte. Which when wet produces an oil, that if captured produces the base ingrediant, called Benzoyl when applied to pimply skin gets rid of any kind of acne, better than all those skin creams and washes. Have a bee or wasp sting? Bulls manure mixed with ground up oats, took care of that. Something in the mixture soothed of course, but also made the stinger surface so you could remove it. 
Of course there was the store bought stuff, from Geritol, to Maalox for a bad tummy. See on the farm then it was at least a 10 mile trek to town, or for something serious 70 miles round trip to Twin Falls. So Mom used home on the farm remedies, to cure me and my step Brother Steve's ailments. Outside of fuel both Diesel for the equipment and Gas for everything else, as well as electricity, and sometimes some store bought grub, we really didn't have no need to go to town or deal with outsiders. 
As for me I really didn't fit in, with others, but all the critters on the farm, became my friends. I'd give em names, and oddly enough they somehow understood what I was saying, and knew when I'd be by. They'd all gather around. 
Lyfe on the farm is Hazzard Lyfe.
TTYLY